Motivation is Futile

I feel now that I absolutely need to have a journal, but I lack the motivation to sit down every single day and write down every single detail. Of course, you don't have to do that. But I find very often that if I do not write in every little detail, it isn't finished. And if I don't finish something, I beat myself up about it. So why would I want to do something that would add frustration to my day, right?

So I suppose I will be writing this 'journal' now. I know it won't be preserved forever and ever and ever and ever, like paper might. Or maybe it will. I don't know. But I do know that I should write every day. So I will try. Give or take a few days, I'm going to try treating this as a journal. Maybe it won't work out and I'll have to stop making a schedule for myself so I can wing it. But I've never been a good 'winger'. I think that's where my red personality traits kick in.

Yesterday I took the color code personality test. Look it up. It's a book that is very interesting. My answer is yellow, which is basically the care free happy person that has enthusiasm. But unlike a lot of people, I was only two points ahead of red, giving my secondary color. Most people don't have one. Red is basically the bossy-in-charge-of-everything-know-it-all color. So I'm yellow with secondary red.

Then there is blue, which is basically the compassionate color. The one that feels a lot of guilt and suffers for other people.

Last there is white, which is basically the person who tries to make peace with happiness, but because of that, has mental breakdowns when they hold in their opinions for too long because they want to keep peace.

Right now my family is downstairs having a family BQ thing. I'll go down soon. I just knew if I didn't start this now, I would never start it.