Emma's Nightmare Named ---------- High School ----------: High School Survival

Friday, October 1, 2010

High School Survival

It's hard for me to use this thing for a journal. There are too many things that happen that I definitely won't write where everyone can see them. That's like a vote collector blogging about who won the presidential election before it was announced to the public.

Okay, so maybe that's over dramatic. Whatever. But I have decided to begin writing in this again. Except this time through, it's going to be a High School Survival Guide. Ever heard of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide? That's sort of what I got the idea from.

Plus, this way if nothing super exciting happens that day, I don't feel like I have to write anyway.

So there.

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The Twin of Junie B. Jones

Because Gracie deserves her own sidebar quotes.

-Gracie: Emma, you shouldn't wear high heels on the dock!

Me: Why not?
Gracie: You might trip and fall in and then Dad will get cramps!

-We were driving to the Figueroa's 4th of July picnic. My mother was drinking SmartWater. Gracie said out of nowhere, "Mom, you should drink smart water because it makes you smarter." My mother then replied, "Don't you think that maybe you should drink smart water because that means you were already smart?" Grace thought for a moment and replied, "That doesn't make any sense."

-Today in the car Gracie stated that she thought a bird pooped on the car. My mother said that the chances were very slim, and besides, how would she know if it did? Gracie said that she still thought a bird pooped on the car. My mom said, "I think you just want to say poop." Gracie retorted, "Nuh-uh! I just wanted you to say poop."

-I was teasing Grace when she wanted to go to McDonalds. I said that they didn't let anyone that wasn't at least 14 years old eat there anymore. She started crying. I think she is a little too attached.

-"Emma, Mom wants you to come scoop up the dog poop," she told me a few minutes ago, and before she closed the door she added, "This message will self destruct."

-After I scrubbed her toilet for her, my mother yelled in the other room, "What is that rotten egg poop smell!?" Gracie got very defensive and exclaimed, "It wasn't me this time!"

-After telling me how she told the bus driver to take her to Ecols Street and the bus driver stopped right in front of her house for her, I asked for reassurance, "Really?" She gave me a face. "What is that supposed to mean?" She put her hands on her hips and sighed as if to say 'duh'. "This face means it's true," she said while she made the same odd face. Then she made a mean face. "This face means it's not true." Then she proceeded to give off other mean faces and said that those meant it was true. She smiled and said, "Smiling means it's not true."

-Earlier I was mowing the lawn, and in an attempt to be like her older sister, Grace took Case's toy lawn mower and began going over what I'd already done. "Look, Mom! I'm lawn lowing!"

-After scaring her about a spider being on her leg when it really wasn't, she was complaining that I almost scared her half to 'deaf'. I'm not sure how you scare someone to deaf.

-After a summer bible school thing we were invited to, Grace climbed into the car we were riding home in. A girl that was her age sat in the back, and because of the girl sitting in a carseat similar to a baby's, she exclaimed, "It's a baby!" The girl was very upset afterward for being mistaken for a baby.

-When the newer King Kong movie came out, we bought it as soon as we could. While watching him getting put to sleep so they could lug him back, Gracie began balling. However, when he fell off the Empire State Building, she made no sign of emotion whatsoever.

-Years ago when I began to need pads and bras, Gracie would get very envious and complain, despite my protests, "I want those!" One time she actually attempted to steal my pads and use them. It didn't work out so well.

-At her baptism, Gracie had to be dunked more than once into the water because she kept tipping her foot out of the water. She complained that she 'wanted to be like a princess'.

-Gracie used to ask our mother, "Mom, when will I get to have a big butt like you?"

-When she decided that she didn't want bangs anymore, she had the brilliant idea to cut them off.

-My baby brother Case was running from us while my mother was off to get her keys. My little sister Grace asked me to hold her paper so she could get him. I told her, "No." Five minutes later when I was holding him in my arms and she was ahead of me, I asked her to hold my ice cream so I could get a better grip. She shrugged her shoulders and in a mocking voice answered, "No." Serves me right, I suppose.