Computer Update

I just got Ubuntu installed on my netbook. It is wayyyyyy easier to use. xD

Love Story.wmv

The Twilight Saga

I'm no fangirl for the Twilight Saga. Don't get me wrong, I do love it. I think it is way fun to watch the first two with popcorn and special features (and occasionally point out the stupid mistakes in the movies that make you laugh, like a change of shirt in the same scene or something). Obviously, it's not the best thing ever. There have been better things for me to read. But I will admit to screaming "EDWARD!!!!" whenever he did something stupid in the books and "JACOB!!!" whenever he did something great in the books.. or movie. Haha!

So because I do have a soft spot for the books as well as the movies, I'm going to go see Eclipse at midnight tonight.. or tomorrow morning. And for extra money, I'm going to go to the double feature, which means that I get to sit through Twilight, New Moon, and THEN Eclipse at midnight. It's going to be a lot of fun with my sister-out-of-law (she isn't actually married to my brother, but they have a kid, so it's easier to call her my sister-in-law or something like that instead of my brother's girlfriend).

Speaking of crabs, (yes, I know I said nothing to do with crabs, but I needed to change the subject), Sponge Bob is a horrible show and I am not pleased that it is still running. With how dumb and immature it is, you'd think it would have failed. It's too bad that people actually like it. xD

Bringing that up, Grace is watching it right now and I'm going to make lunch early so I can give her an excuse to stop watching it. I don't want her watching tv all day like I used to and her watching sponge bob is not helping her IQ at all.

Speaking of Grace, check out TOJBJ (twin of junie b. jones). There is a new one. Seriously, sometimes just when you think she has no idea what she is talking about, she surprises you by saying something that just makes you crack up because of how clever and/or witty it is.

So me and Brit (the sister out of law) are going to go bet shirts at Walmart at noon. Gracie is coming with us since I'm in charge of her. She really isn't that hard to watch unless she is in a 'I'm-going-to-ride-my-bike-around-town-without-telling-you-because-I-know-you-will-say-no' mood or a 'I'm-going-to-watch-the-same-movie-over-and-over-again-because-I-have-nothing-better-to-do' mood.

Good for me - she isn 't in one of those moods. Now I just need to get her to read a hacking book.

Back From Girls Camp

It was waaaay fun this last week, but I'm glad to be home. Usually I want to stay longer, but this year, a week seemed like the perfect amount of time to get away from my house.

There are a bunch of people I need to get back in touch with. Leif, for one. I haven't really talked to him in depth in a while. Zanna, too.

I seriously need something to do next week. I have Gracie and Case for most of it.

I don't think I'm going to the dance tonight. I'm too exhausted from camp to go out partying. A nice walk with a friend does sound appealing, though. I need to work off some calories. I had way too many today. Haha!

Check out the Twin of Junie B. Jones section. I added a new one.

Girls Camp

I'm going to Girls Camp! Wahoooooooooo! Tomorrow is the day that I will leave.

I don't have my cell phone. I left it at Dad's house this morning. And I don't know Mom's new number by heart.

I don't really have anything to say. Gracie is watching Playhouse Disney. I'll get her reading today for the summer reading thing at the library. I'm determined to get her to be not so obsessed with watching tv and playing video games. My family tends to leave her watching tv and playing her DS all the time because they like that she stays quiet and doesn't bother anyone while she does it. But it's not good for her. Besides, I'd rather have my sister talking all the time and being loud like a normal eight year old girls instead of sitting on the couch mesmerized by the tv to where you can yell her name and she doesn't hear you.

Stopped Believing

It's late. I'm tired. I'm awake. I'm pondering thoughts that shouldn't need to be pondered. I'm listening to Don't Stop Believing by Journey on YouTube. I just finished talked to Zanna. I'm crying.

I hate this song. Well, actually, I love this song. It's my favorite, actually. But I hate it at the same time. I've known it for a very long time. And all of a sudden, at the 8th Grade Promotion Dance, they played it at the very end, and I cried. The whole dance I'd been watching everyone have fun. I had fun too, I suppose. But they looked so carefree. I wanted to be that way. Not that I'm some kind of sad girl or anything. I'm generally happy. But that night was not one of my happiest.

My good friend Kimberly didn't come to the dance, so I didn't get to hang around her. She was one day younger than 14, so she wasn't going to any dances yet. But anyway... so she wasn't there so I hung around my other friends that were more.. let's say, wild. And they had a tendency to walk away from me. It wasn't sneaky like they were trying to get away from me. They just gradually scooted away from me every once in a while to get a drink or see someone.

Then they wouldn't let Sarah in because she moved to Lebanon, so she wasn't in their list. So Alexis wouldn't come it, either. So the only two friends I had in the dance that were really close to me besides Leif were Zanna and Tia, but Tia gradually moved away from me and Zanna had other people and.. err... children to tend to. (Her aunt had kids there.)

Olivia got sad and I had to do a dance to Dancing Queen in order to get her in a good mood. It was pretty funny, let me tell you!

Let me tell you about the three boys.

The first boy, let's call him Partier, is one of my best friends. He is nice to me (so a certain point. Sarcasm is used often.) and we know almost everything about each other. I have feelings for him. Strong feelings. He knows about my feelings towards him, and I think he feels guilty about not returning them. But he knows better than to lie to make me feel better, and for that I am grateful. Of course, he tends to fall for the girls that are.. let's say.. not me. They are the ones that spend hours in the bathroom packing on hair products and eyeliner, prancing around in their skinny jeans and acting like obnoxious, immature teenagers with either no or too much self respect. I straighten my hair, wear eyeliner and skinny jeans, but it's different than how they do everything. Trust me.

The second boy, let's call him Avoider, used to be one of my best friends. Last year we were close friends; me, him, and another girl who we will call Cutie. Me and Cutie used to pretend to fight over him and I actually began to have feelings for him. We were talking on MySpace one night and we were discussing our feelings. Turns out we liked each other. Go figure! But I told him I was waiting until I was 16 to date, and he promised me that he would wait with me and he would be my first date. So for a while we kept that promise. But later last summer, just before school started, I told him over Facebook that we should break off the promise. After all, what if we started to like other people? I didn't want him to have to keep such a promise. So he agreed and said he didn't mind and he'd been thinking about it too. This school year, we had one class together, but we didn't ever sit near each other. He hardly ever spoke to me and I hardly spoke to him except for the simple hellos. But I began to wonder why we had suddenly fallen apart so quickly. One night, like, sometime during the end of the second trimester, I had a dream about him. It was weird. We were like.. in a fight, and he told me that he still liked me so we should stop fighting or something like that. So after that I couldn't stop thinking about him, but he still didn't talk to me very often. I guess a few weeks ago he talked to me on Facebook and told me that he was not talking to me the whole year because he was sort of angry at me for breaking off the promise, but he realized that it was stupid and he apologized, or, that's what is was in a nutshell, anyway. So for some stupid reason, I took that as "I still like you and that's why I wasn't talking to you because I was mad". So a few weeks later I decided to tell him over Facebook that I still had feelings for him. I don't know what I was expecting, but I guess more than what I got. He accepted it and I guess I felt better, but he hasn't said a thing to me since I told him that on Facebook.

The third boy, let's call him Awkard, has a thing for me. And I definitely don't have a thing for him. I thought I did for like a week a really long time ago and quickly changed my mind. He kind of reminds me of Will, and that's why. But he complements me all the time and is just the nicest guy in the world to me, but I hate it. I don't like all the mushy stuff. I hate it when my parents do it. Why would I want it done to me? But I guess I'm usually nice and just say thank you. Anyway, he tends to follow me around. Not like a stalker. But like, at school things, he hangs around me, even if I'm not acknowledging him. It's odd, but I feel bad that I don't feel the same way for him, because I know how it feels. But I also know that I shouldn't lie and say that I do have feelings for him.

So at the dance, these three boys were all there, split up. It'd been a long night, and things were getting emotional. It didn't help that Marcus was going to be leaving. I had just about had it with everyone not hanging around me like they usually did. It was just weird for me and I didn't like it. I didn't have anything to do except stand and look like an idiot. So I climbed the stairs and sat on the stage so my legs went off the edge. I sort of liked being alone, but Awkward came up and sat next to me silently, and I didn't tell him to go away. I looked over in the direction of Partier and he was getting really.. err.. close to another girl while they were dancing. (Did I mention that I don't like her?) I looked the other way and a little ways down the stage was Avoider, not paying any attention to anyone but the same people that were always around him.

The DJ announced the next song would be the last, and he played Don't Stop Believing. The music started and my eyes got watery as I sang it at first, and then the water actually overflowed into tears. It was annoying actually, because then I knew that when they turned on the lights then I would be found out.

Just a small town girl living in a lonely world; she took the midnight train going anywhere.

Just a city boy born and raised in south Detroit; he took the midnight train going anywhere.

I just sort of remembered me and Zanna singing with each other, and I thought of Glee, and of the season finale.

A singer in a smoky room; the smell of wine and cheep perfume.

For a smile they can share the night.

It goes on and on and on and on.

I think I was imagining what I wanted it to be like at the dance. Partier and/or Avoider with me, having a good time. But neither was happening, and instead, Awkard was next to me.

Strangers waiting up and down the boulevard, their shadows searching in the night.

Streetlights people living just to find emotion hiding somewhere in the night.

I stared at Partier having a good time with a girl I didn't even like. We were best friends and still I couldn't just go over there and be with him without it being awkward.

I looked over at Avoider having a good time with his friends, one of them being Cutie who he likes now. I wanted to say something to him; ask him why he hadn't been saying anything to me lately. I thought it was odd. I guess I don't really say anything to him either, but I mean, he used to start of Facebook chats all the time and now he doesn't ever.

Working hard to get my fill; everybody wants a thrill.

Paying anything to roll the dice just one more time.

I feel very often as if I want to go back and try different things to see how they would have turned out differently. I wish I could take back so many things that I've said and done.

Some will win. Some will loose.

Some were born to sing the blues.

The movie never ends; it goes on and on and on and on.

I want to change things, but I know very well that I can't. Some people are going to get things that I want and can't have, and I just need to accept it. But It just feels like these things just keep happening over and over and over and I hate it.

Strangers waiting up and down the boulevard. Their shadows somewhere in the night.

Streetlight people living just to find emotion.

Hiding somewhere in the night.

Sometimes I can't figure out what I'm feeling, and at that time, I wasn't so sure what I was feeling.

Don't stop believing.

Hold on to that feeling.

I looked at two guys that I wanted to be with and one that wanted to be with me. I wanted to keep hoping that one of them would 'come to their senses' and find me and talk to me. I wanted to 'hold on' to the feeling that they would. But.. I think I stopped believing.

Summer: Day 2

1) I woke up. I'm pretty sure that that is necessary in order for your day to start.

2) I had breakfast and watched Meet the Robinson's with Grace. It's a pretty cute movie. I like it.

3) Gracie watched four episodes of an anime while I took a shower and cleaned the kitchen.

4) We worked on our father's day stuff. (Haha, it's a surprise! Definitely not telling what it is.)

5) Grace played outside in the back yard while I cleaned the stairs and swept the floors.

6) Kendra came over and we watched Princess Mononoke. Miyazaki is so cool!!!!!

7) We worked more on father's day stuff. It's fun. :)

8) I worked more on father's day stuff while Grace played games on the computer.

9) Jim got home and Kendra and I went to the store.

10) Mother got home with Case and got ready to leave for the softball game.

11) Jim, Mom, Case, and Grace left for the softball game while Kendra and Will came back from the store.

12) Now I am writing on my blog. And because I have no apparent feelings about anything right now, my blog today is a lame and boring list about my day. Yaaaaaaaaay.

First Day of Vacation

I mean, technically Saturday was the first day of summer vacation. But really, we would have had Saturday and Sunday off anyway. So today is the first day that wouldn't normally be empty. So today is the first day of summer vacation!

What a wonderful day, right? It's sunny, it's hot, there is no school, the parents are gone from the house, the kitchen has just been cleaned, the floor has just been swept, the stairs have just been cleaned, five dollars are on the counter for us to use if we need it, and Grace isn't making a fuss. So why should I be annoyed?

Despite all of these wonderful things, I can hardly use these things to my advantage. The sun is out, but I have to stay inside and watch Grace. I guess we could go to the park or something, but that doesn't sound to appealing. Unless someone wants to go with me so I have company? (hint hint!)

It is hot, but I have no pool to go to. I'm sure YMCA isn't open, and even if it was, it's too far to walk to with Grace. The WOU pool I'm sure isn't open right now. I'd like to go to Three Pools, but Dad has work.

There is no school, so yes, I don't have to go do unnecessary work. But school is a way to see friends that I wouldn't see on a normal day to day basis.

The parents are away from the house, so I don't have to worry about being too loud for Jim or the baby or Mom. But it also makes everything twice as boring, and it doesn't help that Grace doesn't really listen to me.

I cleaned the kitchen and the floor and the stairs. Hurray!

The five dollars on the counter is a bonus. But I don't want to spend it on some random thing. I'm just going to use it for milk or maybe to bribe Grace if she gets annoying. haha

Grace isn't making a fuss. And that's always a good thing. However, she is going around the house in roller skates. *sigh*

Can't See Anybody

I was supposed to go to Tricia's today, but we never met up. I went to Circle K and she wasn't there. *sigh* Yuck.

I'm now remembering why I hated summer last year. Yes, there is no school. And sun. But that is about the only good thing about it.

I think I'm going to try to go to Tri-Cities this summer. And/or St. Louis to see Sheryl. That would be a lot of fun.

I am going to go have a burger, come back, and continue my chat with Brendon. It's entertaining me more than I have been all day.

New Twin of Junie B. Jones!

A Sad End

I knew the end of the school year was coming, but it came quicker than I thought. The yearbook was alright. It wasn't hard back, though, so it kind of looks cheep. In it I had a page all to myself. I wrote a poem for it.

The Real Talmadge

If I were to say that we were a school

Full of students that are popular and cool

With perfect grades and stylish clothes

Beautiful hair and cute polished toes

That would be a lie.

The truth comes next, and that you can live by.

Most of us feel that Springboard is dumb.

Despite the rules, half of us still chew gum.

We rant about our opposing political views.

Our school colors consist of gold and blue.

A lot of students think Band is the best.

The students in favor of Choir are the rest.

We indulge ourselves in dating drama.

Our behavior suggests brain trauma.

The nutrition break we are given is used for sugary treats.

We scribble passed notes all over our worksheets.

We cannot live without our cell phones.

We haven't yet started thinking about student loans.

Our school is full of nerds and outcasts and preps.

We are working towards college with small baby steps.

Some of us do our best and some of us do not.

We decorate our friend's locker and don't get caught.

We are a school that dreams by the hour.

We may be small, but we've got power.

I did think of a lot of individual people during this thing, and I really think it sums up our school.

I am going to miss people. I still might not move, so that's not the problem. It just that.. school is a way of communication and without it we won't be able to see our friends as often unless we arrange it ourselves. We are used to seeing them each day whether we want to or not.

Choir Concert and Talent Show Videos

Homeward Bound

I Hope You Dance

I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing

I'm Yours

Joyful, Joyful

We Are The World

What Is This Feeling

Last Day of School

So today was our last day of school. I mean, real school. Tomorrow is just the Oaks Park field trip and Friday is just promotion. Mr. Biery scared us by saying that we didn't get to choose our groups for Oaks Park. Haha! We do get to decide who we are with and whether or not we are with anyone. Hurray!

It will be a lot of fun.

Seminary was alright. I mean, it was nothing short of what I expected. It was a scripture studying class. With cinnimon rolls. :)

Keeping My Fingers Crossed

I'm not going to lie, I actually sort of want to go to Falls City. Not over some other city. Just over Monmouth or Independence. I've lived here for fourteen years (minus the two weeks all over the United States) and I am tired of it. I want to go somewhere else. And, this is going to sound very cheesy, but I feel like it's where I need to go. Don't ask why, because I don't know why myself. But I just feel like Falls City is where I need to be going. Not a city. Falls City.

Plus good news for me! My favorite substitute teacher in the whole wide universe just applied at the Falls City High School (FCHS?). Which means that if I go there, we can be newcomers together! So I will still have someone there that I know and love. Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awaiting a Reply

My mother sent an email to the contractor guy or something about moving out of the house before they are sure that we are being foreclosed, and we haven't gotten an email back. That's why it is still twenty percent of a chance we won't go. If they okay our move, it will move to a ten percent chance that we won't go. That ten percent chance depends on my mother making a random decision during the summer about not going. So we will probably go if they okay it.

Alex Howard is such a goof! When I told people about it he complained and said, "No! Move it down to seventy percent sure!" I love that kid! Haha!

Falls City

BREAKING NEWS: The Thurston-Williams family will be moving this summer. At least, we are eighty percent sure. Almost ninety.

See, our house is in the middle of being foreclosed. There is still a possibility that we won't be foreclosed but it isn't a big one. Jim's (my step dad) mother is having trouble paying for her house and could get into that area soon, too. So Jim had the wonderful idea of moving over there to live with her so we could help her with her money stuff, and basically we would be paying half and she would pay the other half.

I'm not going to lie and say I don't think it's a good idea. While I was excited to go to Central, I think it would be sort of nice to go somewhere different for a change. Meet new people. Get new friends.

Then there is all the stuff for church. I won't be going to Monmouth wards anymore. I'll be going to a Dallas ward. However, I'm not so pessimistic about that because there are two stake dances each month AND girls camp AND stake conferences AND EFY (if I ever get to go) AND... other things. So I will still see you guys plenty. Don't get me wrong, I will miss my friends from church and from school. I just know that it won't be the end of everything. It's not like I'll be moving to Japan and facebook will be our only source of communication (although, it will still be the main one).

The Three Types of Kids to Babysit

In my experiences, I've decided that there are three types of kids that you have the possibility of coming upon while babysitting.

First, the kids that want absolutely nothing to do with you. They go on about their business as if they were home alone and completely ignore you. This is nice if you are babysitting for a short amount of time or you don't need them. This is bad if you are babysitting for a very long time and you have nothing to do to fill in the time. They are usually the kids that cry when their parents or former supervisor leaves and end up getting into a lot of trouble for doing things you told them not to do. This is a good group of kids for you if you if you have things to entertain yourself with.

Second, the kids that want EVERYTHING to do with you. You can't get them off of your leg for the life of you. This is nice occasionaly, on a good day. This is bad if you really hate babysitting. They are usually the kids that make a lot of messes and don't like to sit and watch movies. They make a lot of noise and like you to do everything with them. However, they usually tire out after a while and take a nap. That's always a good thing. This is a good group of kids for you if you really enjoy being with kids.

Third, my personal favorite, the kids right in between. They like you a lot and don't mind their parents leaving. It's as if their friend is over playing with them. They hardly notice their parents are gone. They don't mind sitting to watch a movie while you go on about doing your own personal things. They usually listen to you when you say to quiet down. This is a good group of kids for you if you are just looking for a way to earn money and do it in a nicely spent way.

A perfect example to me of the third group, is the Bacio girls. I happen to be with them right now. Julia is sleeping, Talia is playing with toys and singing, and Lucia is watching Shrek. Throughout the time I'm with them, they like me to interact with them, but they don't mind it when I get on the computer or want to clean or something. I like to be with these girls, because I feel like it's a good way to practice bring a mother and to earn the money I need.

Being able to interact with these three different groups of kids is a perfect way to determine your mothering style to me. You decide how to deal and interact with each group, and you will already know how to understand your children because each one could be from a different group.

I'll be here at Jill's house watching these girls until abour 5 or 6. We'll have lots of fun. When Julia wakes up I will take them to the park. After that I will probably quiet them all down and make them a snack and clean the kitchen again.

The Play HACKED

It did. It truly did.

However, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I forgot a line here and there, but I don't think it was too noticeable.

I hope Kimberly was loud enough for the audience to hear, because her acting was terrific!

A lot of people told me that it was odd that I switched parts with Catherine, and I told them that I thought so too. xD

I was really angry that Kasey didn't get to do her part. See, Allison and Kasey had to share the part of Titania. When Swartzendruber rewrote the play to fit the 45 minutes, Kasey basically only got to have like 12 lines in the whole play during about three pages. But Allison whined and complained about Kasey being the one to wake up when Allison was the one who fell asleep. So then Kasey ended up only getting like.. one page of things to say. If that wasn't enough, the bell rang RIGHT before Kasey was supposed to come on the stage. So Kasey ended up not getting to do ANYTHING. Kasey even memorized all of the lines (even the ones that Allison said) and Allison didn't really. I mean, honestly, I think if Allison was able to use the "I fell asleep so I should wake up so we don't confuse the audience" excuse, then Kimberly and I could have used the "The boys loved me and now they love Kimberly so it should be us on stage so we don't confuse the audience" excuse. Only we didn't. Because we realized that wouldn't have been fair to Catherine and Chloe, who had already been told that they would have half the part. Swartzendruber should not have changed the part for Allison. It was unfair to Kasey. And if she'd done it for me and Kimberly, it would have been unfair to Catherine and Chloee. And vice versa. I was very disappointed by that.

In other happy moments, the play was better than I thought it would be. The costumes were better and the makeup was better than we thought it would be. And they still weren't even that good. I wore my promotion dress as my costume, only my little shawl thing fell off when I laid down, so I was like.. lifting it up in my sleep I guess. Haha!

I would like to spend the night at Alexis's house tonight and see my Sarah's. Hurray!

Play Tomorrow

A Midsummer Night's Dream is going on tomorrow in the Talmadge Middle School cafeteria at 8:15 AM. It's going to hack. If you want to come and you can come, go ahead. I have this sneaking suspicion that my dad will be recording it and I ask that he put it on facebook... if he reads this. Haha.

I have almost all of my lines memorized. What I mean, is that I have memorized them all, but with short glances at the paper. Now I just need to get rid of those short glances. After that, I'm going to memorize the next lines for Hermia just in case Catherine doesn't show up. And if Grant doesn't show up, then I am TOTALLY going to be Demetrius! I love playing him! It's so fun, especially with Kimberly.

Who Likes Who

It cracks me up that at school I cannot be nice to people without at least one person saying quietly to me, "Do you like them?"

One: Of course I like them.

Two: Oh, you mean in that way. No, I don't like them as anything more as a friend.

Three: Even if I did, so what? Do we have to make who we have crushes on the school's biggest gossip topic?

It annoys me all the time.

Then there are the times where I am sitting alone at my desk, nobody sitting next to me. It's quiet and I am able to draw on the back of my paper without people talking to me. There is always that one person that ruins it by walking over and saying something like, "I'm bored" or "Why are you so sad?" And once you tell them you aren't sad, they still continue to pester you about it.

One: Find someone else to entertain you for the time being. I'm on a lunch break.

Two: There is a difference between being sad and being in a peaceful silence.

Three: Even if I was sad, why should I tell you my reasons?

And then this person, who is the same person who told others not to pester you about things while you were sad because sometimes you just don't want to talk about it, is pestering you about why you were sad.

Can someone say hypocrite?

Not that I'm any better. xD

It was a good day. Nothing bad happened and nothing good happened. Oh yeah, I got a solo. It wasn't the one I wanted and I don't really even do well on it. But whatever. Ms. Wright is the director, not me.

...

Yeah, everyone reading this that knows me knows that that last sentence was a really hard thing for me to type. Haha.

Eeeeeeeeeeugene

I might miss Young Women's today if my mother decides to go to Eugene. She will take me with her if she does go. I hope I don't miss out on anything too fun.

I haven't been going to mutual or sacrament meeting for a few weeks now, but do not worry my minion of friends! It's not that I'm slowly falling away or anything. I had a reason every time. I wasn't just being lazy. Like, this last Sunday I was in Eugene. Last Tuesday I couldn't get a ride from where I was, however I probably could have gotten somebody to come but I didn't think of that at the time. That Sunday I was feeling sick. And there are more Sundays and Tuesdays before that, but I can't remember what I was doing that far back. I have my mother's memory. Haha!

Leif keeps going around calling people a moho because Eden got accepted at Mount Holyoke College, which is called MoHo for short. When my mother went to Grants Pass for the weekend, she remembered that I wanted a new sweatshirt, and she had this brilliant idea to get me one that's light blue. I love the color. It makes my eyes pop. But what I didn't realize until I got to school was that this sweatshirt just happened to be a MoHo sweatshirt! So now I am apparently officially a moho.